One of those travel days. Not a good one. Not as bad as our trip from hell back from Istanbul, but not great. Bringing up bad memories.
Trying so hard not to let it get to me. Trying so hard not to slip back into that place where everything is against me, where every shred of hope and faith is foolish and misplaced and I’m doomed to fail forever. Trying so hard not to feel stress right in the center of my lower belly. Trying to protect two precious little balls of cells who’ve barely even had a chance yet.
Trying not to let the uncertainties and delays derail the good place I was in. Doesn’t take much to kick me back into the hole. I was going to get home at a nice leisurely 8pm. Now I’ll be damned lucky to get home by midnight, or even today at all.
It’s OK. Just a delay. It happens. But it just goes to show how fragile my good state of mind can be after all this.
Trying. Trying not to try. Trying to let it be.
Time to watch funny kid videos on Youtube now…
UPDATE: Arrived in Tulsa just at midnight. Was able to chill after the cute kid Youtube videos and some Netflix. Ready for this day to be over! Tomorrow’s a new one… at home 🙂