(It’s funny how anything not directly connected to either making a baby or making money to pay medical bills seems like “extracurriculars” these days…)
As the next embryo transfer (hopefully) looms, I ramped up my fun stuff for a while to make hay while the sun shines. Last week I had an hour and a half of ballet in a hot studio on Wednesday, an hour of co-ed competitive soccer in the 95 degree sun on Thursday, and at least an hour of pick-up soccer on Friday when the heat index was 103. Miraculously, none of my estrogen patches fell off. But I was glad for a rest over the weekend.
This week I’m just doing ballet today (last ballet class for a while… my $100 for 10 classes card ran out, and there’s no sense re-upping again) and co-ed soccer on Thursday. (I didn’t pay and join the summer squad, I’m just sneaking in as a sub for a couple of games when other women can’t make it.)
And that’ll probably be it. I may play soccer again on Sunday if it’s really beautiful, but otherwise I’m just sticking to my morning calisthenics and ab workout, push-ups and resistance band rows and “pull-ups”, and nightly walks by the river from now on. (My favorite yoga workout recently disappeared from Youtube, and it’s not easy finding new ones — you basically have to do them to find out if they’re any good, and if they’re not, you just wasted half an hour. So that’s a bummer.)
What I haven’t been good about is meditating and writing in my journal. They always seem to get lost first, and they’re so important to my well-being. But lately I’ve been snowed under with editing jobs, which means my own writing is also getting lost in the shuffle.
Apparently it’s insanely hot in Sacramento, too, and I’m going to try to avoid outside editing work while I’m there, so maybe I can spend some good time on my book. And also find some space for meditating and journal writing. At least it won’t be the cold, rainy dead of winter.
In other news, my husband just found out he needs some expensive dental work done. It’s definitely not a simple thing to pile onto our cash-strapped reality, but on the other hand it does kind of feel nice for once not to be the one who’s costing us a bunch of medical money. 😛
I’m trying not to think too much about the potential kids, and definitely not writing to them or talking to them or visualizing them as I’ve done in the past. It’s just too painful every time it doesn’t work. It makes the loss that much harder. I’m just living in the now, and if and when the kids finally, actually come, believe me, they’ll get plenty of attention.
Heading to Sacramento on the 29th for the lining check, and I’ll probably be stuck there a couple of weeks while the egg donor completes her cycle and the embryos develop. (I had to eat the cost of my earlier United ticket from the original cycle. A United representative told me I could get a refund, but after I canceled the flight, bought another ticket on another airline, and applied for a refund, they refused me. I’m appealing but don’t anticipate getting anywhere. Grr.) (UPDATE: It took some time and doing, but I’m getting a refund after all. Whew.)
Oh, and I’m fundraising for my friend Rania in Palestine again. She’s an amazing women who does fantastic work in her community, including counseling, after school programs, summer camps, and programs for the disabled. I raise money every year to pay her a small “salary” of $300 per month for her work, which is otherwise unfunded. If you can chip in five bucks, it’s always appreciated. ❤