On Sunday I did a half-day meditation retreat (sesshin), which included two hours of sitting meditation and half an hour of walking meditation. It was lovely, and I was feeling so chill afterwards, like everything was happening just as it was meant to happen, and everything would be all right. It didn’t hurt that the view out of the window that happened to fall in front of me while meditating had a view of a tree blooming white silhouetted against a towering pine tree and the deep blue sky.

It was 6 or 7 days past ovulation (according to OPKs), and that evening I started spotting brown. Of course a little part of me hoped it was implantation spotting — after all, we are “trying naturally” while we have a “free” cycle, as much of a longshot as it is. Why not?

The next day there was a small spurt of red blood, and since then I’ve been cramping, and there’s been a steady but very light stream of stringy maroon. It’s only 22 days since the miscarriage, so I seriously doubt this is my period, though that’s what it feels like with the cramping. But it’s not like what most people describe as implantation bleeding, either.

I have no idea what the hell it is. I mean, should I start my birth control pills for the next cycle? I don’t think so, because I really don’t think this is my period, and it’s highly unlikely it’s implantation bleeding. Maybe it’s just the miscarriage kind of cranking back up again, expelling some little leftover?

Hell if I know.

Our bodies are so strange sometimes.

UPDATE: It’s heavier now and redder (on Wednesday, day 4 since it started). Gonna go ahead and call this an early period, and hopefully get an ultrasound to make sure the lining is nice and thin and then get started on the next cycle!

In other news, it’s my sweet husband’s birthday today. 34 years old. (At 37, I feel like a bit of a cradle robber sometimes. He’s younger than my little sister! lol)

I baked him a chocolate chocolate chip cake with chocolate marshmallow frosting and coffee nut M&Ms for decoration. The boy likes his chocolate. ❤ Can’t wait to be a mom and get to treat kids on their birthdays, too!



5 thoughts on “Weirdness

  1. That cake looked amazing. I had a very short cycle after my miscarriage and it was pretty light. But who the heck knows. That meditation retreat sounds great.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You had a short cycle, as in 22 days or so? I suppose it’s possible, but I did seem to ovulate 6 or 7 days before the spotting started, and I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a luteal phase this short. Could just be hormones still all over the place, I suppose.

      If it is a period, I don’t want to have to wait another four weeks (or more) for another cycle to start, but if it’s not a period, it would be too early to start birth control pills.

      And how the heck do I find out?

      Sigh — wish things could just be simple for once.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I got my period 7 days after OPK ovulation actually. I thought it might be implantation at first. Can you get a local ultrasound so make sure lining is thin? I actually just jumped straight into BCPs without one but maybe you want more piece of mind.


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