My next assignment is the seven week ultrasound on February 3. Until then, I’m just playing the waiting game…
“Oh, the waiting game sucks, let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos.” ~ Homer J. Simpson
Meanwhile I have my symptoms to keep me company and wonder if they’re from an actual healthy pregnancy, from the progesterone, or from my wacked-out thyroid levels.
Symptom 1: Sore and enlarged chestal area. I feel like my boobs have shin splints.
Symptom 2: Sudden-onset exhaustion. Sometimes, apropos of nothing, I feel like an animal control officer just tranq-darted me in the ass. Yet when I try to nap, I often feel too wired to sleep.
Symptom 3: Fuzzy brain. Um… Wait, what were we talking about?
Symptom 4: Occasional mild nausea. Of course I have had a spot of this during many non-productive two-week waits, so there could be a psychosomatic element.
Symptom 5: Laser-nose. It can even predict the future. I once smelled my cat’s poop before he even pooped. (Or maybe he just let out a little gas on his way into the restroom…)
Symptom 6: Bottomless stomach. I am ravenously hungry almost all the time. I only quit eating because I run out of food or because I can feel my belly is physically uncomfortably full. It’s annoying having to wait a few hours so I can eat again.
Symptom 7: Vivid dreams. This is probably the progesterone more than anything (it tends to begin as soon as I start the progesterone, when I can’t possibly be pregnant yet). But it’s fun. And sometimes scary. But I’ve never minded scary dreams. The relief when you wake up is so awesome. The best dream so far was singing Bohemian Rhapsody with Freddie Mercury. What an (imaginary) honor!
Symptom 8: A crazy kind of energy that seems to resonate between my sacral chakra (womb) and my throat chakra. I don’t know to what extent chakras are really “things,” but they do describe certain body areas (like handy geographical markers) and some feelings and issues that seem to go with those areas.
Anyway, the energy is always there, some times stronger than others, and it can take an act of will to just let it be and go on with my day. It makes it much easier for me to feel overwhelmed / irritable if I’m not careful. I have tried meditating on it, but the energy is so strong that when I try to fall into it, my body kind of shakes and I snap out of the meditation.
So I’m stuck with this powerful energy I can’t quite access. It’s kind of intimidating. And also kind of amazing. I’m not sure what to do with it other than try to honor it and keep trying with the meditation. Lord knows I need to get back into my practice on a consistent basis. This is a nice kick in the root chakra.
(Oh yeah, and I crave wine all the time. Sometimes red, sometimes white. So far I have not indulged.)
All of this comes and goes, stronger sometimes and weaker others. I try not to obsess, because I’ve had really strong symptoms before, and it turned out to be nothing. (Mostly during my last own-egg FET, when I had most of these symptoms and was SURE I was pregnant. Nope.)
And, of course, every woman is different. Some people have no symptoms at all until the babies start coming out.
So take it all with a grain of salt. Just trying to pass the time here…